ESSAY: The Quiet Blossom of Youth in Liz and the Blue Bird


 

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Liz and the Blue Chook is a narrative about many issues; about changing into your personal individual, or recognizing how individuals understand you versus you understand your self, or how we use extra than simply verbal language to speak our emotions and ideas. It’s a narrative about tales, about two women who fall in love but in addition fall out of it a bit, realizing that they’re not in a wholesome relationship. It’s concerning the spectrum of music, and why music is integral to our day by day lives, whether or not it’s discovered within the chook songs we get up to, the shuffling of sneakers as we stroll to highschool, or the clear oboe and flute we hear in orchestra. It’s a poignant, quiet, however highly effective film, that doesn’t outwardly inform a lot, however inwardly exhibits loads. And almost 4 years later after its launch, I nonetheless keep in mind it fondly.

 

I used to be seventeen once I developed my first crush; a few years later than everybody else in my classroom, the place the awkward growth of our bodies and hormones was catalyzed by equally awkward feelings and emotions for different individuals. My physique was nonetheless figuring itself out after all, however my thoughts was nonetheless swirling with stresses and unknowns, specifically: what was my life going to be like in school? What did I need to do with my life? Was I going to go far-off from this hometown I had spent my complete life in? What was the world actually like, outdoors of this bubble of faculty, sports activities, and homework? However most significantly: had been the bonds I had established in highschool going to final, as everybody started to maneuver out to completely different colleges?

 

 

It may really be stated: being a junior in highschool isn’t any straightforward feat. Steadiness this with tasks (being the group captain of a varsity tennis group, but in addition managing literature membership as a treasurer), preparation (does anybody just like the SAT? Elevate your hand, I dare you), courses (took approach too many AP courses than I wanted to, I now know), and familial drama (youngsters!), and life appeared prefer it was one brief circuit away from spiraling uncontrolled. Uncertainty, nervousness, and indecisiveness plagued my thoughts frequently. It was presently that I grew to become very near considered one of my associates, an extremely shy member of the Literature Membership. What began out as a few interactions slowly grew to us changing into inseparable. We chatted every single day over textual content or within the hallways. We studied after faculty and took an increasing number of AP courses collectively.

 

 

The remaining, I’m positive you possibly can deduce. This isn’t to say that Liz and the Blue Chook encapsulates among the most poignant moments of my highschool life, or is a retelling of my very own queer coming of age occasion. It does a few of that, however what makes it such a strong movie for me is the way it distills the type of frenetic, lonely, and unhealthy restrictions we put upon ourselves, and one another, to make ourselves really feel comfy. Partially below the strain of adolescence and upcoming tasks, I put a lot of my finest buddy on a pedestal for being a form and straightforward listener, a lot in the identical approach that Nozomi places Mizore on a pedestal for being proficient and laborious to method. My buddy put me on a pedestal as somebody that uncovered her to bigger buddy teams and actions. In doing so, we pushed one another away, isolating the opposite into changing into nothing greater than that: a conceptual determine, to nurture, however not heal, one another’s loneliness. The end result? We parted methods after highschool. I blamed myself, not understanding I had fallen in love, and that relationships are a two-way avenue. I blamed her, not understanding I couldn’t perceive or discover a technique to come to phrases with a loneliness that had festered and grown. 

 

 

I discovered then, that closure is a luxurious, that just some can afford. Nevertheless it will also be one thing you’re employed in direction of. How?

 

Liz and the Blue Chook doesn’t draw back from the laborious reply. Vulnerability, it says, and the prospect of exposing your self for who you actually are: flaws, ugliness, complete. Nothing is extra scary than this, and nothing is extra terrifying than going through the opportunity of judgment, rejection, and othering by providing all of ourselves as much as one other. Phrases aren’t sufficient for this sort of uncooked, determined plea, particularly while you’re a young person. 

 

 

 

Fortunately, as imperfect as we’re, we discover means to specific ourselves another way: on the earth of artwork. The catharsis of Liz and the Blue Chook isn’t a easy dialog or verbal battle between the principle two protagonists. It’s within the breathtaking eight-minute scene the place Mizore unveils her emotions and lays herself naked by taking part in every word to its emotional perfection, adopted by the film lastly shifting in perspective as Nozomi confesses her personal ugliness, pettiness, and loneliness. It’s devastating but in addition therapeutic. Neither woman is ideal. Neither is ideal even with the opposite. However of their loneliness and honesty, they will help one another turn out to be higher variations of themselves. Liz and the Blue Chook whispers to us, softly. The inevitable part of being alone is one thing we shouldn’t run away from, or confine in others. Perhaps we are able to ease its ache by discovering true understanding in loving others. It’s not straightforward, and it’s not going to at all times be completely satisfied. Nevertheless it does provide us an opportunity at one thing real and lasting.

 

This, completed by way of the ability of artwork and self-reflection is, at its core, what Liz and the Blue Chook is about. Mizore and Nozomi are in a position to lastly perceive one another not by way of phrases however pure, emotional instrumental taking part in. By way of a easy hug. By way of a kids’s storybook. By way of the sync of footsteps. Over ten years again, and I ponder: if I had discovered reduction in the great thing about tales, and brought a step of braveness in direction of real understanding like Mizore and Nozomi did, would I’ve been in a position to talk higher? Been in a position to empathize extra with the woman I fell in love with? Been in a position to come to phrases with my very own queerness a bit simpler?

 

I can’t say for positive, however I do know that Liz and the Blue Chook continues to be a bittersweet reminder of my very own quiet blossoming of youth, and the way it’s formed me to turn out to be the individual I’m right now.

 

How do you’re feeling about Liz and the Blue Chook? Did it mark an influence on you, or remind you about highschool romance and reminiscences? Tell us within the feedback!

 

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When not discovering methods to doom all her ships, Natasha can typically be discovered on her twitter as @illegenes, or writing extra about anime on the weblog Isn’t It Electrifying! Be at liberty to swing by and say hello.

 

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